The Barry Conor Chronicles

I have been working on a blog that is all about my dear friends, Mr and Mrs Spoons and their visit here to LA. We had a top week with them and I would love to tell you cats all about it. I haven’t had a chance to finish it though. It’s the same old story and excuses from me but you need to spend time on these things. It will be worth waiting for I’m sure.

Anyroad (as northerners still say I’m sure) I thought I’d tell you about my day yesterday. I got up to find that I had a cold. I don’t get ill readers. Well, I do every now and then but not as much as most people. I think I have seen the Doctor about once in ten years, and I have probably had about two sick days off work in my life (it may be a bit more than this, but you get the vibe). I have no allergies to speak of, the migraines I suffered from in my twenties seem to have gone (touch wood) and I see myself as a healthy boy. I was not pleased to wake up with a cold therefore. When I do get ill though it’s always the rubbish kind of illness where you feel rough but you are still able to go to work.

The day was therefore off to a bad start because I had this cold. I then had a rubbish, rubbish day at work. Without going into details it was a ruddy stressful day. I very rarely get stressed but yesterday was an exception. My cold made it all the worse and I was not a happy boy.

I was therefore looking forward to seeing one of my favourite pop artistes play that evening namely ‘Barry’ Bright Eyes. In reality ‘Barry’ Bright Eyes is some dude called Coner Oberst (for those of you cats who don’t know). He is an American singer songwriter who has released lots of albums and I reckon they are all ace. He is one of the best lyric writers of all time too. He has also had the sex with Winona Ryder but I think they have split up now.

To make things a bit confusing Conor Oberst has stopped calling himself ‘Barry’ Bright Eyes for his new album .He now calls himself by his actual name ‘Conor Oberst’. Which to be honest would have made a lot of sense for him to do in the first place. He only performs songs though by Conor Oberst on this tour (along with his new backing band) and doesn’t do any Bright Eyes songs. I read this in the music mags and was still keen to go anyway as I like the new album very much.

The gig was at the Henry Fonda Theatre which is ace, and it’s a little bit like the Shepherds Bush Empire in London, apart from the fact that it’s smaller and has better sight lines. I am getting ahead of myself though. I got cross when we actually got to the venue as it was twenty dollars to park. I am turning into a proper grumpy old man as I was disgusted with this price. We said no to the charge and turned the car around. We found on street parking nearby that was free. This was one in the eye to the rip off car park merchants.

All I wanted to do was get into the venue to see Barry Bright Eyes. So after a quick bite to eat Emma and I arrived at the venue at 8:30. I hoped that with a bit of luck we had avoided the first support band and that Barry would be on soon. How wrong was I? The first ‘band’ (and I use that word loosely) were on at ruddy nine pm. And they were Barry’s bassists other band. You can tell that they got the tour as a favour as it was a terrible racket. The singer was flatter than Flat Stanley. It was thirty five minutes of the most terrible indie dirge I have ever heard in my life.

Emma and I were sat in the balcony. We could have stood downstairs with the kids, but I am a man in my thirties now. I like to sit at gigs these days and listen to the music properly. I don’t feel the need to dance. In fact once you reach thirty you should never dance again if you are a man. It’s ok for women, as they can dance and move in time. In fact women never get bad at dancing. Men should deffo stop at thirty though. I should point out that they had lovely comfy chairs at the Henry Fonda Theater.

Anyways I digress. It was a good job we were sat down as after this rubbish band came another act just as terrible. Actually they weren’t, but they still were not great. They were this female three piece who had a couple of ok songs but nothing more. None of them were that good looking either. Without being a sexist you can sometimes enjoy a band with girls in it even if they are rubbish, if they are good looking. This was no Girls Aloud. Unless you are a fan of the albino one (Nicola?).

I am off the point again! Damn. I should quickly point out though that two small beers came to fourteen dollars. That is worse than London. Going by the current exchange rate that is over four pounds for a beer. This is a shocking state of affairs. It’s a good job I was ill and didn’t want to drink anymore.

By the time all the awful supports had finished Barry didn’t wander on stage until 11pm. Doesn’t he realize some of us have jobs to go to? I know he is a pop star but I have TV programs to promote! He should have a bit more thought for people like me, Doctors and firemen who have valuable jobs in society. I let him off though as he played a brilliant set of all the songs from the album. The hour passed by very quickly and apart from some idiots talking behind me it was wonderful in every way. There is nothing worse than people who get in free to a gig, then talk through it and ruin it for people that pay. That is the way of the guestlist though.

We then went downstairs to watch the encore. I thought he would play a top song from the album called ‘I Don’t Want To Die In The Hospital’. It’s a bit crazy and a great set closer. Barry had other ideas though. He let his band (who had already done some pretty mediocre songs of their own) do a few numbers. These were pretty rubbish. A whole forty minutes later they were still going on with their muso twiddlings. Emma wanted to leave but I was desperate to hear my favourite song. Eventually they did it and at almost 1am, and after two hours of hearing Barry and co., I could leave happy. The venue was half empty at this point as while everyone loved Barry people weren’t so keen on members of his band farting around.

It was certainly a gig of two parts. The first half was excellent, but the second half was a bit rubbish. And Emma was tired and Barry should have realized this. It ended on a high note though so I went home happy. Barry was great in the main and the venue was too. It may be one in the morning, I may have a cold, I may have had a rubbish day at work, I may have almost been ripped of for parking, I may have sat through two bands that were crap and I may have paid fourteen dollars for two beers. This didn’t matter though as you need geniuses like Barry Bright Eyes to bring a bit of maverick sparkle into your life. I think he did that.

Emma and I drove home and sang along to some tunes on my ipod compilation to keep awake and fresh. It was fun. It was a nice end to a funny old day.

Marc x