Blame it on the boogie!

Emma’s parents were visiting this weekend, along with a new guest in tow, namely Felicity Furness. Felicity is Emma’s younger sister and she is renting out our flat in London Town whilst we are here. She is keeping it very nice and it passed our inspection when we went back to the UK in August. It was looked after very well apart from the oven. The hobs were sparkling but a sly look inside the oven itself revealed some crusty old food. Felicity has been reprimanded and she promises not to do it again. Anyway apologies have been made so we didn’t mind her coming to visit, along with the aforementioned in-laws.

They are all here for a couple of weeks but they are traveling all around this part of the states and not spending all their time in LA. They are at the Big Sur at the moment (I am guessing. I could check their itinerary to see but that wouldn’t be worth it. This blog could take ten minutes to write, or I may write some then have to come back to it tomorrow. This would mean their location will be out of date. It’s best to guess these things therefore).

We are all going to meet up in San Francisco on Friday though. I am very excited about visiting this place as I lost my heart there and I want to find it. That last bit was a joke as I have never actually been to San Francisco before. I was just quoting a song in an amusing fashion. I hope you comedy fans out there enjoyed what I did. We are going to go to Alcatraz, which is good though eh? As long as they don’t lock me up then all will be fine. In all seriousness I don’t think it’s a prison anymore. If it is then that’s just wrong as you should not encourage crime. I am not that bothered by the Golden Gate bridge as I don’t think it will be as good as the bridge that goes over the Dartford Tunnel. I’m sure I’ll see it though as its something you have to do. You wouldn’t visit Glasgow without jacking yourself up on heroin, would you? That is a joke to all my Scottish readers. You have to point these things out to avoid getting your head kicked in.

Anyways, I best not get ahead of myself. I haven’t told you about this weekend and that is what you are interested in. I am not going to disappoint you readers so that is my aim now. I like to think I am the man that gives, and today I am going to give until I can’t stop. I am like that Ian Curtis chap who organizes ‘Comic Relief’.

When Ian Curtis isn’t making ace films like ‘Notting Hill’ he is busy giving to the poor starving children around the world. And not to forget that Comic Relief also gives to causes in the UK too, in order to appease the racists. Anyways, I am like this dude. I am not giving money, it’s just details of my weekend - that is true. I like to think though that if any of the children of Africa can stop walking to the water well for one minute, then they should log onto this. It would give them a good laugh I am sure. It would take away the pain of famine, as laughter is the best medicine. I don’t know why they bother sending medicine to places like Africa. If it was down to me I would just send Bradley Walsh to entertain them. Anyway, I digress. I want to tell you about this weekend don’t I?

I shall not bore you with all the details. People say the devil is in the detail, I disagree as the devil would be bored. He doesn’t strike me as the type of dude to ever bother with details. He is too busy being crazy and doing bad things. I think God is more into the detail as he is all knowing and all seeing. My point is though that I will not tell you everything we did. A weekend is around sixty hours so I have to make some edits somewhere.

In a nutshell (we weren’t actually in a nutshell, this is just a word for a concise summing up) we had some very nice dinners and and the ladies also did some shopping on Saturday morning. Whilst they were in such great places as ‘Banana Republic’ myself and Mr. Furness sat outside and had a chat about various things in life. This is what men do I have decided.

We had planned to go to the beach in the afternoon but it was a bit cloudy! We therefore decided to chill out by the pool in the nice hotel where the in-laws were staying. I had a good time, and I had some chips too. I like eating snacks by the pool. I wasn’t as decadent as Emma who had some wine, I went for sparkling water instead. And we could have gone to the beach as the sun came out just as we sat down! Not to worry though, the pool was great and it felt like we were on holiday.

On Sunday we did all go to the beach as planned. We drove just past Santa Monica beach to Will Rogers beach. This beach is a bit quieter and away from the crazy tourists. Will Rogers was an actor who owned the beach itself. When he died he gave it back to the people and as such it now belongs to the public. What a nice chap eh? And the good thing is that this is the beach where they shot ‘Baywatch’. Anyways we had a great time reading, sunbathing and whatnot.

The day was to get all the more exciting though. I purchased some ‘boogie boards’ off some beach seller for Emma and I. They look like half surfboards combined with big floats that you swim with when you are a baby. Anyway, mine looked cool as it had a picture of a shark on it. All the kids were boogie boarding and before you could say “wipeout” Emma and I were in the sea giving it a go. It was brilliant readers. It’s easier than surfing and as long as you hold on for dear life it isn’t that hard to ride some waves. The waves were dead strong though and at times you get thrown off and I cut myself up quite badly on the sea bed due to the force. This is great though, and part of the fun. You don’t really mind the injuries.

Towards the end I caught a dead big wave. I rode it until it sucked me under the sea. I still held on and I come back up again and got taken at 100mph to shore. It looked dead impressive and all the kids thought I was a boogie boarding legend. I can’t wait to go again. I will have to buy some new trunks though as mine aren’t tight enough and the power of the waves kept on pulling them down. I don’t want to be arrested for indecent exposure. Emma’s bikini bottoms had the same fate but she was able to just keep decorum.

Anyway, we had a jolly nice weekend, the fun will no doubt continue in San Fran next week. Stay tuned for that.

Marc x

p.s. Get well soon Mum. xxx