Blast From The Past

Hello there everyone,

Over the last couple of weeks I have noticed a lot more traffic on this site. I have therefore been using Google analytics to see where people are reading this from. I like to think of us as all of Earth's citizens so this is important to me. Last week I had 71 visitors from the U.S.of A, 6 from Portugal, 5 from Malaysia and Sweden, 3 from Mexico, 2 from Australia, Germany and Poland & 1 from the Nertherlands and Italy. I also got a few hundred from the UK but that isn't as exciting.

Anyway for my new fans who have been asking for more entries, and for those who wanted to know more about my life before LA I have decided to use Friday's to post up my 'retro' blog. Back in the day when myspace was cool I used to post my musings there. I only ever updated it every once in a while but the kids loved it. So for the next eight weeks I am going to post some old blog entries. For those of you who read them back in the old days you can enjoy them again.

Today's entry comes from 20 months ago or so. It's all about a weekend away. And everyone loves a weekend away.

See you early next week for a new 'L.A.' posting.

Marc x

12 Sep 2006
Lark In The Parc

I spent the weekend at Center Parcs. People diss the Center Parcs. I think it stems from the TV ad of yesteryear where everyone imagines that you are under a big dome. I think the big dome burnt down years ago. Essentially the truth is that you spend your time in little Villas (though Em and I were in a hotel, but I digress.) and all around you is Woodland. So when you sit in your garden type thingy squirrels, pheasants and ducks all pop along and say hello.

The concept is that you ride a bike around the parc. You therefore cycle to the main section where you have the brill swimming pool, restaurants, sports centre and stuff. When I first went with Jim Bob and family two years ago I wasn't sure I would like it. But we did!

So two years on Emma and I joined Jim Bob, Jakki, Holly and friend Elinor for more Center Parcs fun. In the Villa next to Jim was more of the Morrison clan (cousins and aunties) and Jim's nephew was down the road too. Making their Center Parcs debut, and staying in Mr Bob's villa was Mr. Spoons and soon to be wife, Mrs Spoons. What a crazy combination.

Em and I set off on the Friday morning quite early at 8am. This was because Jim was leaving early so I didn't want him to get there first and have more Center Parcs fun than me. We did though stop off for a Little Chef breakfast. Yum. We arrived late morning and hired our aforementioned bikes. As we were a couple this particular Center Parcs doesn't have a villa for two people. We were thus in the Lakeview hotel. It was very nice indeed and as we were on the ground floor we could walk out onto the lake from our room. I spent ages feeding the ducks crisps and jaffa cakes. Though I ate the orange bit off the top of the Jaffa Cakes as I didn't want them to choke. I like ducks.

We soon went swimming. It was at this point I realised I am losing the battle of the bulge. A year ago I was running half marathons. This year I am eating pies. I have always been skinny so I SHALL get back there. I am eating a banana as I type this. (Addition from me 27/07/08 - I have now lost this weight). Apart from me showing off my pot belly swimming was ace. I loved the rapids and the slides. And the wave machine of course. It was in the pool I bumped into the Morrison family. We went on the rapids together for a crazy time of fun and jolity. This would be the first of many times we did that.

After that Em and I went exploring. We ended up at the Country Club where we got some wine and cake. Yum. That evening we all went to the Italian restaurant. It was a very nice evening though the service was shocking. After that we went to the bar and had drink or two. We then cycled back drunk. Everyone has to drink and cycle at Center Parcs. It's the law.

On the Saturday we met up for more swimming. Mr Spoons made quite a splash coming down the steep slide. Jim was wearing his baywatch swimming trunks. He looked a bit like David Hasselhoff. I noticed during swimming that the 'parcs attracts all types. There is quite a lot middle class dudes but also some chav types with England tattoos. I try to avoid these lads on the rapids as they are a bit crazy.

We all then went for pancakes. Everyone had a normal one but I had to be greedy and go for a large size. And I wonder why I am turning into Barry Bethal - before he lost all the weight on the slimfast. The ladies then went line dancing (!) whilst Jim and I had a beer and laughed at them through the window. Though to be honest it looked quite good fun. We then played Crazy Golf. I was winning up until the 8th hole when I had a disaster. I couldn't get to grips with the hill and I took 10 shots to do a hole that should have taken six. My main rival Elinor went into the lead, and this bad hole meant I ended up last. I had a little secret cry to myself.

Em and I then went on a bike ride, but sadly Em fell of her bike going down a steep hill I didn't attempt and she cut herself in a few places. She was rock n'roll though and carried on with the ride. I was dead impressed.

That night we went for a curry which was diddy delicious. And the service was better too. We then went 10 pin bowling. I started off with a 'spare' (a strike with your two goes) but I was a bit sporadic from this point. On some goes I got nothing, but I also got two more 'spares'. I did though do some dancing if I hit a good shot, and I even fell over once. I did it again for comic effect too. Luckily Emma was a bit more consistent and we came 2nd. Mr and Mrs Spoons easily won. Jim and Jakki got 3rd, and Holly and Elinor came 4th. They won't mind me saying (and it is rich coming from me) but they were the worst bowlers I have ever seen. Being good at Crazy Golf doesn't make you good at bowling I though to myself!

The next day we all met up for three hours pampering at the Spa. Before that Em and I went for breakfast at 'Chez Pierre'. Though they were so rude and slow I stormed off in a huff. This was a blessing in disguise as we went to the hotel in the restaurant. Which was amazing. The sausages were the best I have ever tasted. And the restaurant span around as you were eating so you got an amazing panoramic view of the lakes.

Back to the spa. It is amazing. It does cost £30 but its worth it. You basically walk into all manner of steam rooms and saunas, it also has this massage swimming pool thing, a Japanese Zen garden and even beds to lie down and to think about things. The only problem with it was that it opened up my pores to such an extent I now have lots of spots on my forehead. And I have a big forehead. I do like swanning around in my big robe though looking like I am Eddie Big Bananas.

We then had a mid afternoon BBQ back at the Morrison's gaff, with Mr. Spoons cooking all the meat. It was very nice. After a few drinks we went late night swimming. The rapids were ace in the dark. It was then back to the bar for Cocktails. Though I was short changed. I ordered the same one as Elinor and she got twice as much as me. Emma got a strawberry dakari that was lovely, and Holly got a lot of cream and baileys. I really wanted that one but told myself that I couldn't. I shouldn't moan though as Mr. Bob treated me and Emma to these cocktails. He also paid for our bowling. He is a good boss, when he isn't beating me.

We then had more drinks around the Morrison's where we had a game of charades. How rock n' roll is that? I told some more of my great anecdotes about working for a top TV channel and before I knew it, it was bed time. Em and I did plan to go swimming again and on the boats but we overslept and I realised I had some stuff to do for my college course. So we went home.

The end.